and it starts all over

I had the laparoscopy yesterday. She found evidence of cancer. The gyn-oncologist seems to feel I will respond well to chemo because I did he first time. So here I go again. I AM NOT HAPPY!!

here i go again

So the scan was inconclusive. Still shows the shit in my lungs (duh). The oncologist doesn't think a third biopsy is necessary. So I am scheduled for a laparoscopy next Monday. The gyn-oncologist will take a look around and swish some fluid around and take it back out. If there are cancer cells in the fluid or if she sees any tiny evidence of disease, I will have more chemo. If everything is fine (fingers crossed) then we no longer make plans based on the CA125. We will also look at history and symptoms. The oncologist says she has another patient who keeps doing this too.
So here I go again...

THIS SUCKS!!!!

I am so tired of the ups and downs. Although right now, I could really use an up (or down, depending on whether you're talking mood or numbers) My CA125 is back up to 90. This is pretty high. Normal is below 35. So, another CT scan on Monday and then...?????? I don't want to go through this again! But I will if it's warranted because the other option is not acceptable. I'm having trouble concentrating on anything. And I'm crying a lot again. Oh well, perhaps health and happiness aren't in the cards for me.