Here I Go Again

The cancer has grown a bit and needs to be attacked. The hope was that I would be part of a study but I was disqualified due to a strange requirement. So Thursday I start a new poison. I will continue until it no longer works or I can no longer tolerate the side effects. This is not a 4-6 treatment plan. I am not happy.

Spring has Sprung

Jennifer and Justin's wedding was beautiful, fun, and all around perfect. The weather was beautiful. Since the officiant knows them well, he was able to personalize the ceremony to one that captured who they are. The reception was so much fun. They had a great band!!!! I danced all night.
Do you remember that part time job I was going to start? I quit before I even finished training. It just wasn't right for me. I am enjoying not working at all right now. I do go down to Job Corps for a few hours here and there to help train the new staff. That's enough for right now.
I have been going through belongings and donating a lot of items. I have also been cleaning carpets. When all is done, and the house is in pretty good order, I want to list it. I would really like to be living on one floor somewhere by the time I need aggressive chemo again. It's been almost two years so I won't be surprised if it pops up in the next year or so. I hope NOT, but I won't be surprised.
I got my hair cut. Then I wanted it even shorter with the next appointment. I like it, but plan to grow it back out to the length of the first cut. I am probably letting it go gray and really want it to be a bit softer.
Yes, I talked about my hair. That is how exciting my life is right now. My one complaint about retirement is that I spend even more time alone. I can go several days without actually seeing anyone else. I must remedy this. And I will...in time.

Time for sentimentality

18 months ago Jennifer and Justin became engaged. I had just been diagnosed with a recurrence of my cancer. When they set the wedding for 18 months down the road, I worried that I may not be able to attend. But Jennifer was optimistic. And she was right. My cancer is still just sitting there quietly and the wedding is this Sunday. I will be partying with the best of them.
Now for the sentimentality part. At times like these Bob's absence is always staring me in the face. He would be so proud of the woman Jennifer has become and I know that he would love Justin. We will celebrate and the wedding will be wonderful, but just as it was when Elizabeth got married, he will be on my mind.
Also on my mind right now is my brother. He was so happy when Jennifer went to his home to tell Carol and him that she was engaged. He told her that he planned to dance at her wedding. She hoped that he would be able to walk her down the aisle. That was not to be. He will be sorely missed on Sunday.
The wedding will be wonderful and missing those who are gone will fade into the background where it belongs. Jennifer's brother will walk her down the aisle and it will be a wonderful walk. (if you're thinking that I only have daughters you are right. Jennifer has a very good friend who has been her "brother" since they met in 7th grade)
I continue to be grateful for every day, month, year that I get. I will always have this horrible disease but plan to live many years with it as my companion.
So, I cry at the drop of the hat right now. Not all of the tears are from sadness. My Jennifer is so happy. Justin is a good, caring man and he loves her so much.  Elizabeth and Bethany are happy and doing well. What more can a mother ask for?
Now...the only thing I am a bit worried about is the fact that I have not danced in a long dress in a long time...

So much has changed!

Hawaii was fantastic!! Here's a link to the pictures:  https://marthagoestohawaii.shutterfly.com/pictures

My sister had bypass surgery in October. She was quite the trooper - came through with flying colors. She is getting stronger every day. Of course, a little thing like coronary bypass surgery didn't prevent her from hosting Thanksgiving. Another amazing Thanksgiving spent with the Lushers.

Christmas was joyous. My children spoil me rotten and I spoil them all right back. The extended family joined us again for dinner and a great time was had by all.

So, remember the job that was just driving me crazy and wearing me down? It is in the past. I retired on January 6, 2017. I spent the first week resting and sleeping and am now starting small projects around the house. Next week I start training for a part time job in a pediatric office. I will be working one day/week.

The cancer seems to be under control right now and I've even lost a few pounds.

Now I get to look forward to Jennifer and Justin's wedding. I am so very excited about it.

Like I said, changes. I feel pretty damn good right now.