one thing after another

So the scare at the end of 2014 turned out OK. I had monthly visits until this month. Now I'm back to every three months with the oncologist. BUT my CA125 went up a little again (34). It's the highest "normal" number. I am not to worry. Then, today I got a call from the gynecology/oncology nurse practitioner. My PAP shows abnormal cells. I am not to worry. It can be due to several non-threatening things. Of course, just to be sure, I need a colposcopy and possible biopsy (depending on what she sees).
Once you've had a cancer diagnosis, all the "don't worry" reassurances you get end up sounding like "you might have more cancer".
More waiting...

It's 2015

I am not making any new year resolutions this year. Why set myself up for failure? I hope I improve my eating and exercise habits, but I'm not putting any pressure on myself.
I need to De-Christmasfy my house. I don't like doing it, but it must be done.
Nothing is new. I'm so happy to be back at Job Corps. It's just as stressful as before and the students can be trying, but I am where I belong.
I lost the beautiful hood that my daughter made me. I am heart broken. She is going to make me another one. I think the only real thing I hate about cold weather is all of the extra clothing items. Seldom does one lose a jacket or coat. But throw in gloves, hats, scarves, ear muffs, hoods, etc and it's so easy to lose something.

I appear to be fine

All test results are in. No cancer. No active histoplasmosis or other fungal lung infection. (The doctor says he can't totally rule it out, the fungus may just be inactive right now). Also negative for sarcoidosis.
So I got a haircut. I was putting it off in case I needed chemo again. Why spend all of that money on a haircut if I'm going to lose my hair again. The curls are still there!!! :)
I am finally beginning to get into the holiday spirit. Better late than never. Baking and decorating and wrapping, oh my!

NO LUNG CANCER

Good news. Still waiting on cultures for definitive diagnosis. No steroid injection permitted for the shoulder if it's a fungal infection. Trade-offs.
One final doctor next week - gyno-oncologist. Hopefully she'll have a simple explanation for the intermittent pelvic pain.
It's always something.

results and more

Scan results: abdomen is clear (yay)
Lungs have more nodules than last year. Some are a bit large.
I saw a pulmonologist today and have a bronchoscopy with lung biopsy scheduled for tomorrow. More waiting. More anxiety.

well, well, well

3 month check up last Tuesday. I had some complaint of bloating and my ca125 was up from 16 to 38. Lots of tears, lots of worry. I had a scan on Saturday morning. Lots more tears, lots more worry. Saw an oncologist today (mine is on maternity leave). He says the abdominal cavity is clear, the one spot on the liver is unchanged, there are many more nodules in the lungs and they have changed somewhat. It would be unusual for it to be ovarian cancel - but not impossible. It would be unusual to have a new primary cancer - but not impossible. The oncologist is going to confer with a pulmonologist to determine the proper biopsy technique and then subsequent treatment for whatever is the diagnosis.
Lots of fear!! Hate this!!
But life goes on...

i have returned...

I have returned to the point where I have quite a bit of weight to lose. Food tastes pretty good and I'm kind of lazy so the weight went on easily.

I have returned to my former job at Cincinnati Job Corps. I missed it - crazy stress and all. I'm happy to be back and expect to have everything caught up in...well, some things my never get caught up.

I have returned to bad habits of too much TV and too little exercise. OK, I didn't actually return to these, I never really left.

I have returned to indecision about whether to let my hair grow or keep it short. I still have some curl and I'm kind of afraid I'll lose it if I get a haircut.

That's about it for my return. Nothing spectacular. Not even anything very interesting.