I'm Back!

April 30th I met my oncologist, Dr.Suzanne Partridge. Again, she is wonderful. Like Dr. Bowling, she is straight-forward and empathetic. We discussed my case. Initially, Dr. Bowling thought I should have a PET scan before starting chemo because of the nodules in my lung but Dr. Partridge thought it could wait. She said that it could "light up" even if it isn't cancer and she didn't think it was. But she did want me to have a chest CT. We scheduled the scan for May 7th and my first treatment for May 9th. I wanted to start sooner but she wanted me to be at least 4 weeks post op - so I waited.
During this time, I was steadily improving from the surgery - and getting BORED!! But patience is a virtue and I so wanted to be virtuous. I did buy a great wig because the doctor said I could expect to lose my hair. A girl scout is always prepared...
May 7th arrived and I went for my CT scan. Here's the thing. Patients can now access their medical records online. The test results for the CT were posted before I met with Dr. Partridge and, since I expected the results to be the same as they were in the hospital, I looked at them. BAD MOVE! Remember when I said I'm a big wuss when it comes to bad news? The results said the nodules were too numerous to count and consistent with metastasis. I became hysterical and called Jennifer and Elizabeth. They both dropped what they were doing and came over. (they are the greatest kids anyone could ever ask for) They told me that I could whip that into remission and I decided to pretend to believe it.
When I saw Dr. Partridge on the 9th, she was very unhappy that I had seen the results before she had a chance to discuss them with me. She was still skeptical that the cancer had metastasized to my lungs, or that it was a new primary site, so she ordered the PET to be done the week after my treatment. Needless to say, I was anxious and Ativan became my new best friend.
CHEMO: Chemo day is boring. The girls went with me for my first treatment. We first met with Dr. Partridge and she reviewed my CT results with me and discussed what was going to happen that day. I chose a recliner in the treatment room and settled in for the day. The nurse started an IV (third try) and the pre-meds were hung. Jennifer needed to go teach a class but Elizabeth stayed until the room started to fill up with patients. There aren't any "visitor" chairs. When Elizabeth was ready to leave, she went to my house to get my computer, bought me a chocolate milkshake at Steak and Shake and then left to do her own thing. I read, watched a movie and played on the internet while the poisons ran into my vein.
With chemo come side effects. There is a wide variety from which to choose. You apparently don't actually get to choose. My biggest side effect is deep, excruciating bone and joint pain. Pain unrelieved by narcotics or Tylenol and ibuprofen isn't permitted because of its blood thinning properties.Other side effects the first time included distorted taste (actually, nothing tasted good at all), pins-and-needle type of itching.
I feel fine the day after chemo so I work that day. The weekend and following Monday are bad.
So I had the PET scan and my lung nodules "lit up" indicating the possibility of more cancer. Dr. Partridge decided I should have a CT guided lung biopsy. I was picturing the radiologist climbing in the scanner with me, but that wasn't how it worked. I had the biopsy May 17th. The next week, I met with Dr. Partridge to get the results. The girls went with me. I was so nervous that I took an Ativan before leaving work for the appointment. The Dr. came in and asked how I was feeling. I said "nervous", she said "don't be". The nodules are granuloma - not cancer. We all cheered and Elizabeth high-fived with Dr. Partridge. We went to dinner to celebrate. So, now we were back where we were when Dr. Bowling said she removed all of the cancer.
Chemo #2 happened May 30th. My wonderful mother-in-law took me to the appointment. I am not permitted to drive because one of the chemo drugs is mixed in alcohol. The medical assistant who checked me in drew my blood. I always have bloodwork done, but since she drew from my arm, that arm was no longer available for an IV. It took 3 tries  (again) to start the IV. Same routine - premeds followed by poison. Good next day, bad weekend and Monday. I helped Jennifer a little that weekend as she was preparing to move.
Monday, June 10th I returned to the dance floor. YAY!! I helped Patrick with his beginning ballroom class. I also helped Thursday the 13th. I can't tell you how good it feels to dance again!
Jennifer moved June 14th and I was there to help after work and on Saturday. This may not sound exciting to most but I enjoy the process of moving. Her home for the next two years is a cute little house in Anderson.
I forgot to tell you...I lost my hair. Well, most of it anyway. It started falling out the second week after the first treatment. My sister clipped it down to about 1/4" (It was traumatic enough. I couldn't have her take it all the way to the scalp) My wig looks awesome though. Most people don't know it's a wig unless I tell them - which I do. One of my co-workers thinks - and I agree - that my wig appears to be growing. Yes, it's that natural looking.. The wig gets uncomfortable after a while so I remove it when I get home and wear my mother's old scarf (which I love) one of the sleep caps I bought or one of the two, really cute hats that Jennifer made for me. (if I can figure out how, I'll post pictures of the hats)
Chemo #3 was last Thursday, June 20th. Same ole same ole. Again, my mother-in-law took me and picked me up. I had a different nurse and she got the IV in on the first try. YAY! I was permitted to take ibuprofen because my platelets are fine so the pain was just a constant, dull, horrible ache. Much better than the excruciating pain.
Today the palms of my hands itch and it is very annoying!!!! Nothing seems to help. Oh well....I am halfway finished with chemo and feeling ok. I'm eating better - especially when my sister brings me yummy food.
Now you're up to date. I wouldn't wish this on anyone but I have great doctors, great family and friends and lots of support. The only thing missing is someone to hold me at night when I get frightened or uncomfortable but I can deal with that.
I try to have a positive attitude, but to tell you the truth I'm MAD AS HELL!! It's totally unfair. I mean, how much more are we supposed to go through?! I have never smoked and only drink the occasional fru fru drink. I was becoming more active with dancing and racquetball. Now, I know that none of those things have anything to do with ovarian cancer, but seriously. WHY ME?!!
Well...I don't think there's actually an answer to that question. Writing this blog is helping and I have a great therapist. I will get through this.